That was the first time I had heard of that word. I was a little nervous. I was told that I would just have to lie down and do nothing, that I’d just have to ‘close my eyes and be’.
I went for two sessions, which were quite dramatic and I was crying throughout.
I wasn’t sure if I had cried because of the Reiki or if our conversation and the memories of the incidents brought out the tears.
I felt knots (blockages) and pain in certain areas of my body, and the practitioner got a glimpse of my past life. I hadn’t expected that at all and so was a little taken aback.
She told me that she had seen a past life with the ex-boyfriend and that we were married (I was actually happy at that point to hear it) and that he had neglected me (surprise, surprise) and was consumed and absorbed in his work life and with his friends (I sighed and thought…’things hadn’t changed so much’).
A friend pointed out that about a century back, most men were stiff, absorbed with their work and hardly paid attention to their wives. That was a good point. However, I felt like he was too absorbed by his work and friends in this birth as well, although this time (in case there was a last time), he did try.
She told me “don’t wait”.
She wouldn’t tell me at first what that meant, but when I looked so clueless, she let me know that it’s better if I don’t wait for him to come back to me. She told me I do a lot of waiting in general and that I shouldn’t.
She said that I had huge problems with the men in my life.
I thought – right on spot!
Brother, father, boyfriend.
Not that I didn’t have any issues with mother…but that’s for later.
I told her about the molestation and she nodded and shook her head while she tried to clear the blockages in my chakras. I had no idea what chakras were or meant until I went for the class. (Truth be told, I’m still not so clear on what each chakra refers to).
She would take long deep breaths and had pained expressions as she dealt with my blockages. I could see that my experience, pain and emotions were affecting her as well.
I requested for a third appointment but she couldn’t find the time for it and said she would get back to me.
After the second session, I struggled to decide whether I should learn Reiki. I was skeptical and unsure. While I was waiting for a third appointment, I suddenly and quickly decided that I wanted to learn it, at least Level 1, so I could do it for myself regularly.
I asked her if she was teaching level 1 anytime soon. And before I knew it, I was enrolled.
I wasn’t sure what to expect on the first day of the course. I was nervous and had lots of inhibitions. We were given a booklet explaining what Reiki is, its history, what chakras are, and the techniques. She answered any questions we had and told us about some dos and don’ts.
We were also given 2 attunements (I didn’t know there was an initiation process, let alone attunements). I felt fingers drawing symbols on my palms and feet. My eyes were closed and the first time I felt like this was some sort of a witch initiation.
I was taken aback by my own thoughts. Why were symbols suddenly something to do with witchcraft? I don’t even know what witchcraft was, and in any case, why was it so bad?
This is how all that burning stuff began in the first place – Ignorance and fear.
Throughout the attunements, I didn’t feel like anything bad or scary was happening. It felt peaceful and meditative.
The second day, during the third attunement, I ended up in tears.
I had envisioned some spirit leaning towards me near my neck and I felt so sad and such longing, that I can’t be with the spirit, like we had met before and I missed it. It was beautiful.
Tears streamed down silently and wouldn’t stop.
I was overcome with emotions. I cannot remember exactly what was going on in my mind at that time, but it was something very beautiful, and also something happy-sad, a mix of everything.
My eyes were closed. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I felt four strong limbs land on my thighs. I knew it was the cat (there were three in the house) and I smiled through my tears. I actually shed a few more tears of happiness and gratitude.
I knew she had jumped onto my lap to comfort me. To think, I had been afraid of cats until last year!
She softly caressed my hand and I was amazed to what extent cats (and animals in general) can comfort someone and know what/how they’re feeling.
Note that I am a complete stranger to animals and would call myself a ‘non-animal’ person.
The first time a cat comforted me was at a friend’s house, after the break up. That was the first time I didn’t move away, although I was standing very stiffly.
I opened my eyes and saw the cat on my lap. I laughed in the midst of my tears and petted her.
I had no words to explain what had just happened, and luckily, I wasn’t expected to.
We were divided into pairs and asked to perform Reiki on each other. My first partner had already done level 2 and had come in to help and exchange Reiki for us to practice on, and my second partner was someone from the class.
The level 2 Reiki person could detect conflict, prodded and could feel blockages and clogging. I cried during the session a little bit, especially when the teacher came by to assist.
When it was my turn, and because it was my first time, I wasn’t sure how to do it.
So before we start a session, we have to stand loosely and ask the universe, ‘Am I in my true integrity’ and we move slightly in a rocking motion forwards, backwards or sideways (without our involvement).
I completely doubted this whole thing.
What if I moved on my own and convinced myself that it was not me?
I told the Reiki teacher about this doubt and she asked me how well I knew and trusted myself.
I didn’t say anything.
I wasn’t convinced.
I closed my eyes and said it (in my head). and I moved slightly forwards and backwards.
She saw it and her expression clearly said “See!”
I still wasn’t convinced and continued to doubt myself.
This class showed me how much I doubted myself.
As I did Reiki on my first exchange partner, I reached her chest and at that point had difficulty breathing. Later, when I told her about it, she told me she was feeling quite breathless as well. I guess she had something to clear up in that area. I couldn’t make out more than that. I did feel slight bubbles which Is apparently said to be a good thing.
I sensed a little more during my second session, although I wasn’t sure if I imagined it or if it was ‘real’.
I saw mountains and some water animals and a cow. I also felt tightness in the right side of the stomach. She told me that the mountains made sense to her and the knot in the stomach could be referring to the stomach issues she’s had (in the same area) the past year.
The teacher was observing all of us while we were channeling energy and giving Reiki sessions.
She walked over to me slowly and told me softly that I had beautiful energy. She looked at me and gave a beautiful smile.
My eyes widened and I felt a surge of confidence rush through me. The doubts disappeared a little. A little voice in my head said in an amazed voice “I have beautiful energy? Can this be true?”
Once I completed the course and got my Reiki 1 certificate, the first person I did Reiki on was my mother. I think I came up with some stuff, although I’m still not completely sure if I’m up to any good.
I guess we’ll see as time goes.
I’m planning to do level 2 as well so I need to give more sessions and wait for a couple of months.
The teacher asked me till where I saw myself going in this Reiki journey and I said maybe level 2 or 3.
She looked deep into my eyes, smiled knowingly, and said that I will be a Reiki teacher.
I thought, “Whoa. Now, I’m not sure if I have the ability or the time to do all that.”
The Reiki teacher told me to learn to trust myself and stop saying “I’m not sure” or “I don’t know”. I doubt myself too much.
But that means more than 200 sessions giving Reiki to people and a lot of commitment. Do I have it in me to do all that?
My second exchange partner who gave me Reiki told me that she saw a long road which diverged in two different paths and said I’ll have to choose one.
That’s pretty generic and I wish I knew exactly what she was talking about, but don’t we all in some point in life?
I guess we’ll see what happens.
Right now, I’m going to concentrate on my next client 😀
Have you ever had Reiki before? Did you take a course? Are you curious to know more?
I’m excited to hear about your experiences and your thoughts on mine.
Read more about Reiki on Anne Marie Mcglasson’s blog