Often, when we say, “I love you” we focus mostly on the idea of the “I” who is doing the loving and less on the quality of the love that’s being offered.
This is because we are caught by the idea of self. We think we have a self.
But there is no such thing as an individual separate self.
A flower is made only of non-flower elements, such as chlorophyll, sunlight, and water.
If we were to remove all the non-flower elements from the flower, there would be no flower left.
A flower can only inter-be with all of us.
It’s much closer to the truth.
Humans are like this too.
We can’t exist by ourselves alone.
We can only inter-be.
I am made only of non-me elements, such as the Earth, the sun, parents, and ancestors.
In a relationship, if you can see the nature of interbeing between you and the other person, you can see that their suffering is your own suffering, and your happiness is their own happiness.
With this way of seeing, you speak and act differently.
This in itself can relieve so much suffering.
Thich Nhat Hanh
Day 26 of the 35 Days of Love