I am the living example of loving someone without knowing how to love.
We both thought we were saying, doing, and choosing what was best for the other, but even when one screamed about what they really wanted, it was neither heard nor understood. I have seen what happens when true listening and understanding cease to exist in a relationship. Let’s just say, it isn’t pretty. Life becomes a dark sky with grey clouds and soggy socks.
We said we loved each other and yet we cried and fought and suffered. I would often wonder what kind of love brings such suffering and how strange this was.
Unhealthy relationships cannot sustain love, and eventually they wither and die out.
It’s not about what you think they want or need. It’s about what they really need. Sometimes, we tend to second guess or look for hidden meanings when our partner says something. It might be better to take and understand what they are saying as it is.
If we spend most of the time sad, crying, in conflict or suffering, that is not healthy, that is not a kind of relationship we should be in. That is not ‘love’.
Love doesn’t hurt. It’s not just a feeling, it’s a way of being and we are it.
Don’t stay in a relationship or get into one seeking for it. Look within.