I had never really sat and thought about what love is, or what understanding means, or the importance of either.
I realized the importance of understanding when a person decided not to be a part of my life any longer. It dawned on me how I didn’t really try to truly understand this person when it was necessary. I realized how futile any relationship is, without the basic crucial factor of understanding each other’s feelings and emotions. There was no need to agree upon everything or to even act upon it. But just the basic want to understand what the person is going through – like you would think anyone would when you love someone. I realized how self-serving relationships are, when it’s not based on two people communicating – understanding each other.
When a new relationship comes our way, we want to know everything about the person, we want to learn, understand, truly know the person. What causes us to give that up down the line? I don’t know when exactly I stopped wanting or caring to understand, truly understand – the feelings, the emotions.
Sometimes, we fool ourselves and the other person by saying that we are listening and trying to understand, or even, that we do understand. But the whole time, we’re not even listening or thinking about the other person and instead just thinking about how we feel about what they are saying or feeling instead of focusing on and caring about how they feel.
It’s very clear. Without understanding or the constant desire to understand the other person, there is no relationship. It’s a mere one way thought street.
When I recognize that I’m lost in my own head, I tell myself – Quit clinging to your ‘needs’. You have everything you need. Focus on the other person – that is interaction, in any relationship. Look at the person – see, hear, feel, understand the person.
– My thoughts on Day 1