Trust the way you feel

Sometimes we cannot express in words or even in thoughts how we feel. But we can feel that energy in our skin. We can be in denial about how we feel around a person because we’ve known the person for a long time or because you need to be connected to that person for some reason (work, etc.) so you might have to ‘act’ like it’s all lovely and great. But you cannot deny that strange vibration on your skin that tells you this is not okay, you cannot completely ignore that sinking feeling in the heart. You can avoid thinking about it, or you can make excuses.

I have a tough time being myself. I don’t even know what ‘being myself’ means sometimes! I get all caught up in what and how I’m supposed to be that I don’t know what/who/how I am.

I act okay and keep up a smiling front while I try to completely ignore that sinking feeling and the uneasiness.

Maybe it is fear. Fear of reactions, loneliness, being wrong.

Funny I should talk about this now, when just a while ago I wrote about how I should not give in to fear. I didn’t say I mastered it though.

Again, I’m reminded of yet another post, and I’m telling myself right now, to not beat myself up for this.

Expectations – when we try to stand up to these, whether set by others or ourselves, we’re already setting ourselves up for failure.

I’m not talking about goals here though, goals are great, but expectations, I’m not so sure.

So what to do when that feeling comes knocking us out of our completely-figured-out life? (we think we have it all figured out – ha!).

Firstly, acknowledge it. It’s right in front of you (Actually, inside of you). All you need to do is open your eyes (and I’m not talking about the eyelids here).

It’s not easy to acknowledge that there is conflict raging inside of me, because I feel like acknowledging it sometimes might mean I have to solve it.

But the funny thing is, I don’t need to do anything. Eventually yes, but not immediately.

Just acknowledging my uneasiness and not denying it or ignoring it already liberates me a little.

It opens up a tiny bit of space inside of me.

Unless you acknowledge it, you can neither accept nor understand the person nor leave the situation.

What am I going to do with this uneasiness that I recently felt (which actually I’ve felt before, but avoided thinking about)?

I don’t know. I’m just going to let go and see what happens. Release that space I was holding on to unnecessarily.

Problems don’t disappear if we ignore them. Nor do feelings, people or relationships.

It’s important that we don’t cower, and instead face – head on.

What’s the worst that could happen?

Whatever it is that’s popping in your head right now, someone else could be thinking something much worse.

So take that piece of crumpled paper and either straighten it up and store it or throw it away in the bin. But don’t let it lie there in the middle of the table, don’t let it become the elephant in the room.


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10 comments

  1. Yes, go with it and trust yourself! I know when I try to ignore those feelings of uneasiness that keep showing up around certain individuals, those feelings start to rise up. I remind myself of all the times when I was right on about those feelings and just keep things professional/casual, depending on the situation.

    I have learned a long time ago that it doesn’t serve me any justice to be anything other than myself. Being myself is so much easier and freer, than pretend play. Those days are so far gone, thank goodness!

    -W38

    Liked by 1 person

    1. timelesswheel · ·

      It’s really great that you’ve gone past that… It does get very conflicting to pretend like something or someone isn’t affecting me when it does…!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Princessjm · · Reply

    Reading your blog makes me feel that I am actually talking to you. It sounded like what a person would be telling another given the topic. I like that you were able to put into words what some of us only think of. I sincerely hope that you will find the courage to face what bothers you about yourself or maybe how you think others think about you. You’ve got to accept who you are and how you think. Do not let other’s perception or opinion hinder you from being yourself. Every living thing in this world is unique, we do not need to conform to any rule, it will just be between right and wrong. Don’t be afraid to embrace the totality of your existence. You are special and you are here in this world for a reason and a purpose ❤ I would like to share this in my page if that's okay with you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. timelesswheel · ·

      Thank you so much 🙂 I’m working on it! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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